Letting go

My son just had a birthday.
Seventeen years old. Almost a grown man. Six foot five and handsome. He has a girlfriend now. They’re serious for a couple that have been together for only six months and it’s almost sickening yet cute at the same time how they coo and ahh at each other, calling one another sweet heart and baby.
What a minute! Baby? I growl softly deep inside, feeling my stomach twist and turn and realize, ‘Argh…I have to let go’.
It’s just not fair! I mean, for seventeen years he’s been my baby (never mind the eye rolls he gives me when I say that) and before that for nine months I carried him. I fed him, cuddled him, cleaned up after him and kissed his boo boos when he was hurt and this is how he repays me? Gets a girlfriend and spends all his time with her? Transfers all the adoration he felt toward me to another?
Let go.
I remember the first time I held him, looked into his perfect face and brushed my fingers through his dark curls. The way his eyes searched for me and the smile that curled his toothless mouth when he discovered me watching him in turn. The trust and love, knowing I’ll always be there no matter what. My heart fair swelled to bursting. This was my child, my son.
Let go.
As a toddler he followed me everywhere, always inquisitive and questioning. He loved everything about life; running, playing, eating, experiencing . I remember so clearly being at a fruit stand and glancing over to see a small hand reach up into a bin before snatching something only to replace it a moment later. When I went to investigate I discovered a row full of fruit bins, each filled with different delicacies, and each with one fruit that had a toddler sized bite taken out of it.
Let go.
I cried the first time he went away to camp. My husband would sigh and shake his head before patting me on the head. “He’ll be back.” “Yes I know.” Soon school came and I could feel him pulling away. Friends, activities, life in general. But he always came back, always with a smile and a hug. “I love you, mom.”
Let go.
I tried to teach him right as he grew; how to respect a woman, to treat her as a lady. To honor his elders, love his family and the Lord. He created his own set of personal morals and follows them rigidly. He is growing into a man, a man I helped shaped and one any mother can be proud of. Any parent. In order to be that man he needs to be, he has to do it on his own and that means stepping back.
As hard as it is, I’m letting go.
(dedicated to mothers everywhere)


I have a secret

I have a secret.
It’s not mind boggling or whisper worthy but to me its something that is mine…a secret fantasy, or others might call it, an alter ego. You see, I’m an a kick ass beautiful assassin who men lust over and fear. I walk the streets with confidence, meeting the eyes of passerbys with a haughty smirk, knowing that if I wished I could easily remove them from this world with none knowing the better.
I’m also a top notch thief, able to get past the most advanced security systems without breaking a sweat. I glide by in the night, walking through your dreams to get to what I want, your most prized possession. Whether its to distract you with a bat of my lashes as I pick your pocket or etching through a glass window at twenty stories up to cross a room filled with electronic sensors, nothing will stop me from my goal.
Some days I’m dark and gorgeous, deep inside blood thirsty and empty of human emotion. Once I was living but now I’m not. Years ago I died at the hands of a stranger only to be reborn into something stronger, faster, deadlier, for I am vampire, a creature of the night damned for all enternity to live as civilation around me blossoms and dies.
The imagination of a writer is something different, something special, for it is we who create new worlds, create new life and bring to others these vivid scenes of wonder. For most of us life is a dream, we think them, sleep them, find ourself obessed with them and in the end, if we’re lucky, we can manage to jot down our thoughts to share with others.
For me one side effect of this passion is that I am unable to turn it off. It travels with me everywhere I go; at the store, in school, walking down the street, even on the bus. It robs me of my sleep, occupies my every thoughts, and distracts me during conversations. I’m sure people that pass me in public wonder as to my nature. At times I speak out loud, working out a scene for my next chapter. At other times I become so obessessed that any disruption becomes an irritatent, locking myself away from everyone until my character’s stories are put to paper.
And when it finally does, when the story is complete I can sit back and sigh, relax until the next character steps forward to claim my attention, to drawn me into obession once again and we begin another dance of words.
For you see, I have a secret.

What is Sexy?

What Is Sexy? The Bad Boy or the Good Guy

I’m sure everyone has heard this question a time or two but I can’t help asking it again. What is sexy? Is it the physical or the mental? Is it a muscle bound man with the face of an Adonis or a skinny nerd who’s willing to listen when you need an ear? Colin Farrell or Colin Hanks? Bad boy or good guy? So many different descriptions and ideas it just about makes your head spin.
The reason I’m thinking of this is not because I’m the expert on sexy (though I know what I think is sexy) but because everyone has their own opinions. I mean, not just your best friend or neighbor but the TV, movies and books you read…everyone has a word about the subject. With the Twilight war (Team Edward or Team Jacob), the new release of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows (the intense Harry vs. the bumbling Ron) and for us grown-ups studly Jason Stathan or the everyman Jason Segal, there is always one considered more bad than good, more masculine than geeky. Do you like the love ‘em and leave ‘em type (hoping you’d be the one to reform them) or the guy next door who at times wears the missed matched socks and bad hair cut?
I’m torn at times when I think about it. I mean, who doesn’t like handsome? A pretty face and a hot bod can sure make the tingles stir, but it doesn’t do much good when the object of your affection is dumber than a box of pop rocks or shallower then the puddle in my driveway. But then there’s nothing worse than a couch potato who’s idea of romance is pizza and a bang ‘em up movie (how many times have I spent an anniversary doing that?)
What qualities do you find attractive? A soft glint in his eyes as he notices you watching him? The way the corner of his mouth tilts in a knowing grin that takes your breath away? How about the way his voice gets all husky as he rolls over to say “Good morning”? (Oops, I’m talking about my own hubby) Or how about the way he doesn’t get mad when you over spend (even though you know he should) and instead takes you out to show you off? And what about when you’re feeling (and even looking) fat and nothing fits? You’re miserable but he comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist while nuzzling your neck and says, “You’ll always be beautiful to me” and you can hear the truth in his voice?
I know my idea of sexy has changed from the time I was in my early twenties to now. I loved those hot, smooth-chested studs. Long thick hair, rock hard abs and a face you’d only see in a Chippendale calendar. I dreamt about it, read stories about it and giggled madly when one crossed my path but as I said, times have changed. Yes, I still think those boy wonders are still pretty great (but at a distance) but now a hairy chest turns me on (not bear hair, just nice hairy…lol) and I find I’m becoming more attracted to the Lords of the Chrome Dome. Guys no longer have to have the drool worthy bodies to catch my attention but a really good sense of humor and an honesty about them is hard to find unless you actually take the time to notice. Though Bad Boys are nice, Good Guys have an appeal too and are usually overlooked as ‘nice but’s` (you know the guy, I’m sure you said it to them before too. “Your nice, but…”)
So who’s the guy you’d let eat crackers in bed? What is sexy to you?

The Wonderfully Witty Angel Martinez

Richard Hijacks the Blog

As a writer, and a reader, I love history. I’m not talking about boring modern history or the endless WWII documentaries on the History Channel (oh, dear gods, not another one!) It’s the grand expanse of human history I adore, the millennia past. While historicals aren’t a genre I’ve delved into yet, I’ve had occasion, for back-story, for backdrop and background, to delve into certain historical periods.

History viewed through a modern lens has some pitfalls—

Excuse me. Could I interject?

Richard! Folks, this is Richard von Schaumburg, one of my heroes from A Different Breed.

Did you have to give my full name? Honestly, Angel, you’ll tell them everything next.

Well, um, there is the book…

Yes, the book. (Richard heaves a sigh and runs a hand back through his thick, black hair.) I suppose it’s too late, really. Done is done. But as for the historical bits of the story, you cheated.

What? What a thing to say!

I know you. You’re about to go on and on about the importance of research, and placing real historical figures into your writing, and the pitfalls of anachronism.

You can’t very well have a medieval monk with a digital watch, now, can you? Or chili peppers in twelfth century Bavaria.

True. But you had me.

Yes, but—

And you had no need to seek out source material on Duke Henry the Lion or Barbarossa, the attitudes of the time, or material culture. All you had to do was ask.

But I still had to ask the right questions. And I do come by my German honestly. Richard, are you angry with me?

(My favorite vampire and erstwhile knight flings himself into the corner armchair, long legs stretched out before him.) I agreed to help tell the story, but I don’t recall giving permission for publication. My private life exposed. Joshua’s private life exposed. It’s…indecent.

Josh said it was fine. In fact, I believe his exact words were, “Wow, no shit? We’ll be in print? This is so kick-ass!”

(Richard’s cheeks show the barest touch of pink – vampire blush.) Joshua does have a way with words. I suppose since he’s so excited, I can’t forbid it now.

Would be a little tricky at this point, anyway. It’s coming out next week.


Next Sunday, actually. A Different Breed releases November 28th. I think it’s important to tell your story, dear. For you, for Josh, for William.

For William… (Richard stares at his hands) Very well. Since I’m too late with my objections and I do see some merit in it as a cathartic exercise…

So we’re good to go?

Yes, yes. Privacy be damned.

Thank you! Can I give them the blurb now?

You may as well. We’ve come this far. But if we start having people turning up on the doorstep at the house…

I guess you’ll just have to stock extra tea and pastries for guests then, won’t you?

A Different BreedReleasing November 28, 2010 – A new M/M Paranormal from Amber Allure

Josh hunts vampires to avenge his slaughtered twin sister. The only good vamp is a dead vamp, period. Richard destroys his prejudices in the first few moments of conversation and the sexual sparks ignite between them. Richard offers the stability Josh never had. Josh offers the healing Richard needs.
But an attack one evening leaves a friend in the hospital, Richard with a bullet through his chest, and Josh fighting to piece together what happened. Are Richard’s nightmare attackers real, or is Josh’s favorite vamp losing his mind? Is there a reasonable explanation or has the hunter now become prey?

Angel Martinez is the erotic fiction pen name of a writer of several genres. She lives with her little family and all of her characters (good grief, what a crowded little house!) in the jumbled sprawl of Northern Delaware. Angel had her first erotic work published in 2006 and she’s never looked back.

For more about Angel, her writing and odd, stray thoughts, visit:
Angel Martinez: Erotic Fiction for the Hungry Mind

The Wonderfully Delightful Franny Armstrong~ParaNovelGirl

EEK! I heard Christmas music today. I nearly knelt down on the floor and bawled my eyes out. Shopping has never been my favorite past time and spending money…well, let’s just say I’d rather be writing.

Are people more friendly at Christmas time? Do we begrudge parting with our hard earned cash for such a delightful cause? Is it possible that when our clothing shrinks over the next month or so that we’ll be pleased about it? HA! HA! HA!

Santa, here’s my letter:

Dear Santa.

For Christmas this year I want all our soldiers home, all homeless people fed and housed, peace in the world and a new molar since mine just broke into three pieces and fell out. SIGH Hugs Franny (remember me when I was a freckle faced, curly haired, green eyed kid who always laughed?)

Too much to ask? I’ll settle for the first two and pray we’ll all have a wonderful, peaceful reunion with our loved ones. Gosh, I’m happy I don’t have any family abroad fighting, yet sad because I haven’t a clue as to how I could do the ‘Bob Hope’ thing and entertain those brave souls who strive to protect our freedom. Even my kids banned me from singing in the house claiming I hurt their ears.

Watching the news makes me cringe. My doctor said don’t do it, I’m too sensitive. I suppose I’ll just have to take my vitamins, drink and eat less of the things I KNOW are not good for me and keep striving for the good health that has evaded me for nearly a decade.

Well on the road to recovery, it makes me realized just how important being fit is. Wonder why I never realized it when I was well? Not to worry, I’m digging a trench for myself and knuckling down to succeed in business for the first time in my adult life. I have a plan. Shhhh…can’t tell you what it is right now, but come January 1, 2011, I’ll have a surprise for everyone. Stay tuned.

Hugs and have a safe and merry season. (Still too early for me)

Franny Armstrong
Extrasensory Elements Series Book 3-Fire’s Witness releases soon.
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Extrasensory Elements Series Book 1-Author’s Demise, Book 2-I B Jumpin’, Fire’s Witness (coming soon)
Tropical Balm, Forever Blowing Bubbles, Small Packages-A Christmas Story
AND 7th Eye Private Investigations Book 1-The Mystic Touch

The Witty and Fun Dee Shore!

When I sat down to write the blog for today, the “interview” I did with one of my characters kept popping up in my head. I think that’s a sign that I should share it with you, right?

So without further ado, I introduced you to Matt Carlson:

I sit back on the bar stool waiting for Matt to arrive. Looking at the time on my BlacBerry and he is, of course, 20 minutes late. Ordering another drink, I look towards the door as it opens and in steps Matt with an air about himself. Almost automatically, every woman in the bar turns to watching walk in. That was the effect Matt had on women, and heck even some men. Everyone wanted a piece of him and if they were lucky and stuck around someone could be going home with him. Spotting me at the bar he struts over texting away on his smart phone.

• Dee: It’s about time you-
Matt holds his finger up telling me to shut up…how rude!
• Matt: Hold on I gotta txt my bro Sage that he can’t booty call his wife.
Pulling out a chair from the bar he smoothly slides into it and leans back getting a drink from the bartender.
• Dee: Booty call his girl-friend?
• Matt: Yeah fucker doesn’t realize there’s an art behind the booty call.
• Dee: Wait, Matt there’s an art to booty call? *looking stunned*
• Matt: You know darling *slow sexy grin*
At this point I have to compose myself because Matt is a major hottie. *fanning my face*
• Matt: I’m sexy I know all the ladies have that response to me. *another close sexy grin*
• Dee: *rolling my eyes* Ok big head; enlighten me with the proper way to booty call.
• Matt: ‘Course need to make sure I spread the wise information passed down from generations.
• Dee: LOL! Rules?
• Matt: Gotta have rules. I’m a sexy and I can’t be letting all these women think they’re gonna tie me down. I’m too sexy to married.
• Dee: Matt *dies giggling* you have issues. Should I write these rules down?
• Matt: Take notes while the master speak
Not writing them down… well maybe LOL

• Matt: Rule number one – “No sleeping over — unless the “act” was very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.”
• Dee: Is cuddling allowed?
• Matt: I’m not teddy bear, thought I ‘m playful like one, nor your boyfriend, though you wish I was. Cuddling is a no.
• Dee: Darn! *snaps fingers* Ok what next?
• Matt: Rule number two – “No meeting in public, except for drinks before the events of the evening.” We’re not together, no need to be seen out in public.
• Dee: This so reminds of the song “Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects.
• Matt: That’s my theme song *smirks*
• Dee: Of course it is. Silly me.
• Matt: Rule number three – “No calls before 9 p.m. We don’t have anything to talk about.”
• Dee: *Falls over giggling* this brings back memories.
• Matt: Rule number four – “None of that “lovemaking’ stuff. Only SEX allowed.” Don’t act shocked. The ladies are worst than men. I’ve heard some conversations coming from women.
• Dee: Were you listening in to my conversation last night with my cousin? Shame on you Matt lol
• Matt: Gotta wash that mouth of yours with soap *grins* Rule number five – “No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Was I better than your ex? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don’t ask.”
• Dee: Geesh!
• Matt: It’s a dirty business and I like it dirty *wink* Rule number six – “No calling each other “friends with privileges.’ We are not friends, just sex buddies.” Or fuck buddies.
• Dee: You must be rubbing off on me because I actually see the reasoning behind that.
• Matt: I like to get rub. Rubbing is real good.
• Dee: *smacks him over the head with my flip-flop* Pervo
• Matt: Thanks for the compliment. Rule number seven – ”No glove, no love. Go home.” Gotta protect yourself.
• Dee: Oh I agree with that 100%. You could never be too careful. Anything else?
• Matt: Yeah, rule number eight – “No falling asleep right after sex. It’s over, so get up, get dressed and go home.” Best part of a booty call, you don’t have to call the next person the next day *grins*
• Dee: *shaking my head giggling* Matt you’re a riot with a big head.
• Matt: It is big *wiggling browns* and everyone wants my fine ass.
• Dee: I know someone that wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole.
• Matt: Impossible but go on amuse me. Who is this woman acting like she doesn’t want me feeling her ass up?
• Dee: Mila *giving him a smug smile as he suddenly frowns at me*
• Matt: Why you gotta ruin my mood and mention that *looking disgusted* person?
• Dee: Because you were late and it ruined your mood *I can’t help but giggle at him but suddenly he grins*
• Matt: Bet waiting for me was the highlight of your day.
• Dee: Watch me I’ll be doing cartwheels in a second.
• Matt: It’s cute how you’re acting like I didn’t make your day, no week, no month *slow grin*
• Dee: Alright, alright enough of that you male hussy. Thanks for being here today.

Well there you have it people that’s Matt Carlson for you. A lovable rascal that hunts my mind lol. I hoped you enjoy the journey through my head.

Thanks to Maggie for having me here today!

Stop by my website/blog at http://deeshore.net or follow me on Twitter @DeeShore. I tend to tweet a lot about almost anything LOL!


Welcome the Delightful Yvonne Nicolas!

Hello world! I’m delighted to be here. Thanks for having me Maggie!
Give me a second, let me kick off my stilettos and take a few sips of my wine. Mm…Oh yeah, that’s some good wine. *grin*
Today is a good day. I received another email from a reader who absolutely loved my recent urban fantasy novel, Black Rayne Silent Screams. Reading this email brought me to tears. Also, I got a sweet note on Facebook from a reader who says her and her husband thoroughly enjoyed my novel, Designing Love.
This is why I do this! For the readers who can appreciate a good story. And I love, love, love hearing from them. Thank God for networks like Facebook and MySpace where the reader can connect with you.
It’s a beautiful thing.
I’ve been an avid reader since the age of fourteen. Over the years, I’ve read every genre out there, from horror and suspense to adventure and erotica. My favorites are paranormal and urban fantasy. Every now and then I like myself a good sweet romance. Ya know, the ones from back in the days, where the model on the cover is standing in the Garden of Eden, sporting a loin cloth.
Yeah, that’s the one! A good ole’ fashion read. Hehe…
I think of myself as an easy reader, one who’s easy to please. Give me a good, stimulating plot and I’ma happy camper. When I got into reading erotica, it was difficult to find a book that could make me blush and give me a good plot at the same time. Erotica seemed more like porn. Weak plot, sucky acting, but all of the buck naked sex you can handle. Now don’t get me wrong, I love reading about buck naked sex! But a sweet plot would make it all the more interesting.
Right when I thought my search would be in vain, a friend of mine passed along a book from Zane. The Sisters of APF (Alpha Phi Fuckem). *blush* Pardon my language. If you have not read this book, you should. The message in this story is about embracing sexual freedom, more so for women, and that’s what the APF sorority stood for. After this, I moved on to read three more books from Zane, which were just as awesome as the first one.
Reading her books gave me the encouragement to write my own. I figured if she could write a hooking tale combined with great erotica, then so can I.
I came into this business with an open mind and a wild, twisted imagination. Writing rules were brought to my attention by other authors. You can’t write about this, you can’t write about that… yada, yada, yada… Ugh…
C’mon people, what’s the fun in writing if you can’t break those stinking rules?
Okay so being the wild child that I am, I cast the rules aside and let my muse take me away.
I started off trying to write from an outline. Boooo! While an outline works great for most authors, it’s a total waste of time for me. Writing from an outline is like me trying to walk a straight line while drunk. I’m staggering here and there; laughing at myself… It’s embarrassing.
I found I’m more comfortable with just writing from my head, letting the story come to me as I type. And surprisingly it works!
Now the erotica aspect of my writing comes very natural to me. Actually, it’s one of the easiest things for me to write. One of my past jobs may have a little something to do with that. *grin* I spent two and a half years of my life working at an X-rated video and novelty store, one of the biggest pornography stores in Florida. That had to be one of the most interesting and fun jobs I’d ever had. My job, in particular, was to purchase the DVDs from the distributor to sell in the store. Because certain sexual acts were illegal to sell in the state of Florida―golden showers (Urolagnia), scatting (Scatophilia), bestiality, extreme bondage, women dressing like little girls, etc.―I had to watch certain DVDs that were questionable to make sure it didn’t contain any of these illegal sexual acts.
So I got my fill of porn, a lifetime amount to be exact. LOL! So you could say my job was very interesting.
The fun part was the people I worked with and the porn stars I met. *snicker* Boy, do I have some stories to tell. But we don’t have that kind of time.
Needless to say, I learned a lot working there and came away with a skill I use in my writing.
Let’s face it, sex is a part of life. It’s not going anywhere, it only evolves. As long as I have the skill, I will continue to create saucy tales with scenes of wicked sex in them.
At the end of the day, if I get you hot and bothered, I’ve done my job.

To learn more about Yvonne and her work, visit her website – http://yvonnenicolas.com/
Black Rayne Silent Screams BlurbR&B sensation Sharayna “Rayne” Piers lives a life dedicated to her music. On stage and in the studio, she pours her heart and soul into the lyrics of her songs. But every since her twentieth birthday, her seemingly normal life has taken a turn to the dark side.
Piercing screams and horrid visions of horrendous acts of murder haunt her night and day. Women similar to her in age are vanishing all over the world without a trace, leaving Rayne wondering if the mass of disappearances are connected with her visions.
Soon she will discover that the world she was raised in is just a cover to what really hides in the shadows, and that her life as a human is a deception to mankind, a guise to conceal her true nature. Will she shun the darkness that has befallen her or step up to the throne to become what she was created to be…the Dragon Queen?

Black Rayne Silent Screams Excerpt
“Dark Rapture”

Bound by his sweetly spoken command, Rayne closed her eyes. Pure rapture flowed beneath his skin. Her nipples hardened and stung, her clit ached to be touched. Her breathing hitched as he drew her closer to him. She slipped her palm around his neck. His hands circled her waist then slid over the curve of her ass.
The temperature between their bodies rose to a blazing inferno. His veins began to pulsate beneath her touch.
She felt the blood, sensed it—the new evil blood that coursed through his being. This blood aroused her, called to her. It evoked a yearning within her, which kindled a ravenous fire. She wanted it. Her lips quivered with the need for a taste.
Digging his fingers within her hair, he inhaled deeply, pressing his lips against her temple. “Feel it,” he whispered.
Suddenly, gut wrenching screams entered her mind followed by images of unfamiliar faces, tortured faces, bloodless faces. Gasping, she withdrew her hands and attempted to pull away, but he locked his arms around her waist and held her against him.
“Embrace it,” he demanded hauntingly.
Her mind was swamped with panic, but she couldn’t erase the need to have him inside of her. She felt so damn twisted. “You killed them.”
“I did,” he responded softly, teasing the few strands of hair hanging along the side of her face. “You knew I would before I left you tonight.” The flames from the floating candles flickered violently with his words. “You knew I needed to, didn’t you?”
Not able to form words, she shook her head. Would it always be this complex while with him, torn between being scared shitless and horny out of her mind?